whaack

I was supposed to post this article yesterday; I swear I have a good reason for having been distracted!

Billymg invited me to a party he hosted for mp & company. I was quite excited to meet them but hesitant on whether I should bring my new girl, Sara. I was concerned about potential... culture shock. But on the day of the party, the idea of not bringing her seemed absurd. So I asked her to come and a couple hours of later we drove in her jalopy to billymg's with a bag full of mangos, guacomole ingredients, and 3.5 bottles of wine.

I became a tad nervous the moment before meeting MP. It wasn't overwhelming nervousness, and I've been nervous just about every time I've met anyone in the flesh from #bitcoin-assets, #trilema, or #ossasepia. But I was spinning with thoughts about how I simultaneously wanted to make the most of the opportunity, have a good time, be respectful while not being sycophantic, etc. Perceptive Sara picked up on my mental state and used a magic relaxing kiss spell on me.

When we arrived the grill was being prepared by our gracious hosts while MP & girls were splashing around in the pool. The pool goers greeted me, and zomg holy shit they pronounced whaack as it should be pronounced.¹ After handshakes and cheek kisses I 180'd back into the house to change into a bathing suit.

When I returned with my bathing suit on I saw the dissapointed face of nicoleci. You see, Sara had rolled up these nice looking "joints," but those "joints" were filled with tobacco instead of the green stuff. ~"What long haired surfer shows up to a party without ganja?" Fair question.

While we drank warm-up drinks and splashed around in the pool, our hosts started working the grill. That grill soon pumped out trout, steak, and chicken. MP noted that trout is one of the hardest fish to grill, but he pointed this out only after the trout was succesfully grilled by billymg. The tasty trout was accompanied by magnificent mushrooms, ravishing red peppers², splendid salads, and great guacomole.

Some steak needed cutting and MP assigned nicoleci the task. As MP explained, while a restaurant can give you a nice steak, that steak always misses the sweet flavor that comes from slavegirl sweat as she struggles with her dull knife to mince meat on a plate³ that itself is on a wobbly table. Sara watched nicoleci with concern. Eventually she couldn't handle the spectacle and came to nicoleci's rescue. As Sara adeptly cut the steak, MP explained to an impressed nicoleci that in order to get a Spanish passport, at age 18 each Spanish girl must demonstrate her ability to wield a knife in front of a committee. Failure to show adequete skill results in * cut throat gesture. *

As for drinks, we had rum, tequila, and wine from our 3.5 bottles. MP suggested using one of the bottle's of wine for making a sangria. Sara protested strongly with a horrified face. ~"You can't use nice wine for sangria!" ~"I have an idea. Maybe whaack will tie you up and you'll be made to watch bottle after bottle of wine wine turn into sangria in front of your own eyes. mwhahaha" At the end of the night each bottle had a little bit of wine left - in college these are referred to as wounded soldiers. Really they are evidence of optionaity.

After a couple of group tequilla shots; the women went for a bonus mango and tequila shot. We all learned that tequila and mango do not mix. Seriously, the mango coagulates or something.

We stumbled back to the pool. Some jumped in, while others were pushed in. Billymg's piscina is surrounded by trees that drop these wonderfully smelling flowers. The fallen flowers have a firm stem a couple of centimers long that is useful for placing the flower in a girl's hair, behind their ear, or in any orface of your choice.

The next morning we woke up earlier than everyone else. Or at least we left billymg's slut storage room cabina earlier than everyone else. We took some of the time to walk through the jardin de magnos, which was beautiful although fruitless. I mean we got something out of it, namely nice nudes, there was just literally no fruit. After our walk we packed the car to head out. Sara has a few pets. Since we didn't know we'd be staying the night, she had not provided them with provisions.

Pressed by her urge to give water to her animals went to say goodbye, but instead wound up doing a hello, we must be going routine. We stayed a couple more hours for breakfast. During that breakfast I learned an important health tip when Sara applied a generous amount of salt while preparing eggs. MP told her to stop and informed us that consuming salt wears down the kidneys and makes life's clock tick faster.

As we were lounging around after breakfast and splendid Turkish coffee,⁴ MP noticed Sara scratching me with a fork. He told her that he had a better tool for her purpose and asked if we knew what a wartenberg wheel was. We did not; so hanbot brought one to the table. In case you didn't know what a wartenberg wheel is:

We left after breakfast.⁵ Thank you billymg & co for hosting and thank you MP & co for coming!

1. Most pronounce it "whack" as in, "he whacked you with a stick," but since my last name, Haack, is pronounced like the bird, "hawk," it makes most sense to pronounce my nick like the word, "walk." [↩]
2. infused with cheese bombs [↩]
3. instead of a cutting board [↩]
4. The preperation of which requires barefoot women and semibroken electric stoves. [↩]
5. When we arrived back we learned Sara's dog hadn't even finished the little bit of water she did leave for him. [↩]

This entry was posted on Saturday, April 18th, 2020 at 12:46 a.m. and is filed under Reflection. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.