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Trout, Steak, Pimiento Rojo con Queso, A Refreshing Pool, Aromatic Flowers in Butt, Pointy Metal Things on Butt - A Party With MP and Billymg

I was supposed to post this article yesterday; I swear I have a good reason for having been distracted!

Billymg invited me to a party he hosted for mp & company. I was quite excited to meet them but hesitant on whether I should bring my new girl, Sara. I was concerned about potential... culture shock. But on the day of the party, the idea of not bringing her seemed absurd. So I asked her to come and a couple hours of later we drove in her jalopy to billymg's with a bag full of mangos, guacomole ingredients, and 3.5 bottles of wine.

I became a tad nervous the moment before meeting MP. It wasn't overwhelming nervousness, and I've been nervous just about every time I've met anyone in the flesh from #bitcoin-assets, #trilema, or #ossasepia. But I was spinning with thoughts about how I simultaneously wanted to make the most of the opportunity, have a good time, be respectful while not being sycophantic, etc. Perceptive Sara picked up on my mental state and used a magic relaxing kiss spell on me.

When we arrived the grill was being prepared by our gracious hosts while MP & girls were splashing around in the pool. The pool goers greeted me, and zomg holy shit they pronounced whaack as it should be pronounced.1 After handshakes and cheek kisses I 180'd back into the house to change into a bathing suit.

When I returned with my bathing suit on I saw the dissapointed face of nicoleci. You see, Sara had rolled up these nice looking "joints," but those "joints" were filled with tobacco instead of the green stuff. ~"What long haired surfer shows up to a party without ganja?" Fair question.

While we drank warm-up drinks and splashed around in the pool, our hosts started working the grill. That grill soon pumped out trout, steak, and chicken. MP noted that trout is one of the hardest fish to grill, but he pointed this out only after the trout was succesfully grilled by billymg. The tasty trout was accompanied by magnificent mushrooms, ravishing red peppers2, splendid salads, and great guacomole.

Some steak needed cutting and MP assigned nicoleci the task. As MP explained, while a restaurant can give you a nice steak, that steak always misses the sweet flavor that comes from slavegirl sweat as she struggles with her dull knife to mince meat on a plate3 that itself is on a wobbly table. Sara watched nicoleci with concern. Eventually she couldn't handle the spectacle and came to nicoleci's rescue. As Sara adeptly cut the steak, MP explained to an impressed nicoleci that in order to get a Spanish passport, at age 18 each Spanish girl must demonstrate her ability to wield a knife in front of a committee. Failure to show adequete skill results in * cut throat gesture. *

As for drinks, we had rum, tequila, and wine from our 3.5 bottles. MP suggested using one of the bottle's of wine for making a sangria. Sara protested strongly with a horrified face. ~"You can't use nice wine for sangria!" ~"I have an idea. Maybe whaack will tie you up and you'll be made to watch bottle after bottle of wine wine turn into sangria in front of your own eyes. mwhahaha" At the end of the night each bottle had a little bit of wine left - in college these are referred to as wounded soldiers. Really they are evidence of optionaity.

After a couple of group tequilla shots; the women went for a bonus mango and tequila shot. We all learned that tequila and mango do not mix. Seriously, the mango coagulates or something.

We stumbled back to the pool. Some jumped in, while others were pushed in. Billymg's piscina is surrounded by trees that drop these wonderfully smelling flowers. The fallen flowers have a firm stem a couple of centimers long that is useful for placing the flower in a girl's hair, behind their ear, or in any orface of your choice.

The next morning we woke up earlier than everyone else. Or at least we left billymg's slut storage room cabina earlier than everyone else. We took some of the time to walk through the jardin de magnos, which was beautiful although fruitless. I mean we got something out of it, namely nice nudes, there was just literally no fruit. After our walk we packed the car to head out. Sara has a few pets. Since we didn't know we'd be staying the night, she had not provided them with provisions.

Pressed by her urge to give water to her animals went to say goodbye, but instead wound up doing a hello, we must be going routine. We stayed a couple more hours for breakfast. During that breakfast I learned an important health tip when Sara applied a generous amount of salt while preparing eggs. MP told her to stop and informed us that consuming salt wears down the kidneys and makes life's clock tick faster.

As we were lounging around after breakfast and splendid Turkish coffee,4 MP noticed Sara scratching me with a fork. He told her that he had a better tool for her purpose and asked if we knew what a wartenberg wheel was. We did not; so hanbot brought one to the table. In case you didn't know what a wartenberg wheel is:


We left after breakfast.5 Thank you billymg & co for hosting and thank you MP & co for coming!

  1. Most pronounce it "whack" as in, "he whacked you with a stick," but since my last name, Haack, is pronounced like the bird, "hawk," it makes most sense to pronounce my nick like the word, "walk." []
  2. infused with cheese bombs []
  3. instead of a cutting board []
  4. The preperation of which requires barefoot women and semibroken electric stoves. []
  5. When we arrived back we learned Sara's dog hadn't even finished the little bit of water she did leave for him. []

7 Responses to “Trout, Steak, Pimiento Rojo con Queso, A Refreshing Pool, Aromatic Flowers in Butt, Pointy Metal Things on Butt - A Party With MP and Billymg”

  1. Man, that's not what I said. We were talking about airing wine, remember, and I said maybe one day she comes through to discover she's tied to a chair and there's a pile of corks all about the house. Then as the realisation grips...

    You know, 'cause the wine's airing all the while.

    Anyways, bring the girl (and your life's savings) to San Jose one of these days, get her a whole new slutwardrobe.

  2. nicoleci says:

    Lol, Sara is my knife cutting hero! I think it only counts as a proper costa rican jalopy, if you tie the mangoes to the top of the car. Also, pro tip on the wartenberg wheel - you gotta flip it so your thumb rests on the opposite side.

    I'm so surprised you didn't add the smores fest in here, haha. Lovely meeting you both & cheers until next time.

  3. billymg says:

    Good times, looking forward to the next one.

    > At the end of the night each bottle had a little bit of wine left - in college these are referred to as wounded soldiers. Really they are evidence of optionality.

    Options that—I'm not ashamed to admit—were cashed in before sunset the following day.

  4. whaack says:


    Ah, my apologies for the misquote. That's a better way to do it, for sure.

    Alright, I'll start emptying the piggy bank.


    I found my thumb fits right into the valley nicely, although I did struggle a bit with this picture. I will experiment with proper grips.

    And yes, I should have mentioned Sara's reaction to traditional USAschawitz dessert. (For those not present - she was not impressed.)


    Indeed, we can do Spanish tapas by the beach in the meantime.

    > Options that—I'm not ashamed to admit—were cashed in before sunset the following day.

    Happy to hear they went to good use!

  5. Hey, I'm taking the sluts out for slutware shopping Monday, wanna bring yours ?

  6. whaack says:

    Sounds like fun, but I don't think we'll be able to make it. Either way I'll send a gpg confirming tomorrow.

  7. whaack says:

    I'm unable to do the gpg dance atm, but I can confirm we can't make it. Cheers

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