A confession of how I waste time 1
Last week my productivity slacked. I constantly paused work to do mindless activities. Lack of focus is an ongoing problem,1 but this past week my symptoms were more severe than usual. I figure one way to address the issue is to write an article revealing some of the embarrassing ways I waste my time.
The first is I listen to music during work and in between tasks. Before I do the dishes or some mundane chore, I put on a song. This makes all the small jobs I need to do around the house take longer. I recently knocked over a pot of hot coffee while changing a song, splattering shattered glass and liquid all over my kitchen.
I've mentioned this problem before. What I didn't mention was the exact "music" I listen to. I always put on something by Russ, a rapper who raps about being hard working and self made. So yeah, just about everyday for months I've been being lazy and listening to the same chord progressions accompanied with lyrics about how someone else's hard work led them to success.
The lyrics of Russ's song, Me You, are ohso fitting. Russ raps about the difference in work ethic between him and the listener.
...
Yeah, mm yeah, there's a difference
Oh yeah, there's a difference
Oh, yeah, there's a difference
There's a difference, yeah
Yeah, yeah, yeahMe, got it out the mud, they respect that
Me, always spread the love when I get back
You, got your hand out, that's a bitch move
You, always complaining like a bitch do
Me, still right here with who I came with
Me, self-made, my circles on the same shit
You, got a different crew every weekend
You, don't want it that bad, keep sleeping
Yeah, you wished for it, me, I worked for it
...
Another way I burn the precious minutes of life is by watching surf videos on youtube.3 I've tried to prevent myself from doing this by null routing www.youtube.com by inserting "0.0.0.0 www.youtube.com" into my hosts file. But the fake resistance doesn't help, I always find some justification for commenting out the line.
These two specific avoidance behaviors are likely symptoms and not the source of my problem. But maybe analyzing the symptoms can help discover the root. The connection I see between the two aforementioned activities are they are low effort ways I use to hallucinate success. While listening to Russ, I am imagining myself as having already reached success through hard work. While watching the surf videos, I am imagining myself on large perfect waves. I might as well spend the time watching videos on other sites. I'd be doing the same thing except I'd have something to show for it when I finish.
- As I'm sure it is in the lives of most. [↩]
- Quite the poetry when you see the lyrics written out, yeah, yeah, yeah. [↩]
- I also go out and surf, that is after all a major reason I live where I do now. But I've reduced the time spent surfing to a healthy 5-7 hours per week. It has been easy to not avoid work through surfing, because there has been very little swell the past few months. Am I going to be able to forgo getting in the water when I see glassy barrels out my window? [↩]
What exactly is your point with this footnote? Do tell me now and try to come up with something at least a bit close to the root of it so as you shed perhaps the tiniest bit of idiocy rather than further add to the mountain on display.
I was trying to state that how well one can stay focused is something everyone works on their entire life / struggles with in varying degrees
Reading it back as it's written, it appears I'm projecting my personal problems onto others. The process is similar to using feelings to determine the state of the outside world. I also likely wrote it to justify the behavior I go on to describe in the article.
Also, if you asked me point blank, "Do you think that because a behavior is common it is acceptable?" I would answer "no, of course not."
But after joining the crowd in the bullring and reading the above, it doesn't look like I've internalized this idea at all.
How do you know that is even true? And even if it were, how and why is it relevant?
That "everyone" is on par with the generic "we" and idiocy of prime order.
> How do you know that is even true? And even if it were, how and why is it relevant?
I don't know for sure that it is true. I do know that it is a common problem in the states, but that doesn't mean there isn't anyone (or even entire cultures) that manage to stay focused all day. Or at least focused to the point where improving focus gives minimal returns.
In either case, whether others struggle with my problems is only relevant insofar as I can find and learn from people who have found ways to overcome those problems.
[...] 1. Regression into a few behaviors. I played the guitar at peak hours of the day (i.e. before noon) as a form of avoidance. This totaled to roughly only 3 hours for the week, but that 3 hours could have been another article. Second, I spent about 10 hours surfing. Fwiw, there was no time wasted on this bs. [...]