Very Secure

Still In The Big Apple

It’s been well over a month since my last post; a new piece of writing is very much due. My life trajectory has changed dramatically between my last publication and now. Before I had plans to return to Costa Rica on January 2nd, but today I am still here in New York City. The reasons for this are numerous - but the primary cause of me staying here is to be with the people who I love and have known the longest in my life.

At times I feel that I am regressing by staying in New York. My time spent in Costa Rica was nothing short of heavenly. Nearly every day consisted of waking up to a chorus of birds chirping, surfing magnificent waves, and enjoying the company of close friends. I had a wonderful three bedroom apartment that I was very proud to invite people over to. I was picking up, however slowly, my second language Spanish and finally starting to have enjoyable conversations with locals in their tongue. Although I wasn’t working when at the moment I left, I had previously succeeded in obtaining well paying jobs where I could work remotely and support myself. And now that I’m back in the city, just about all of this is gone. I’m back to the cold concrete jungle of the city. I have my closest friends and family here - but making new friendships is much harder than it was in Costa Rica. As for my living situation - I’m back to crashing my parent's house. I can’t even begin to fathom sacrificing my time spent reading, coding, learning the guitar, etc. to work a boring 9-5 to sustain a shoebox of an apartment in the city. But this day will have to come soon..

Another great pain of leaving Costa Rica is the feeling that the friendships I made there will fade away quickly. Given that I don’t have accounts with the normal antisocial media websites, it can be a bit tricky maintaing certain relationships. The fact that I lost my phone and subsequently my phone number does not help either. There are many people I miss terribly, and I apologize to them for not having put in the time to message them.

New York being home is not the only thing that draws me back here. In Central America I felt that my days were being spent well since I was thoroughly enjoying my youth, yet I couldn’t help but think that I was not pushing my career forward like I should be. Even though I picked up two wonderful hobbies that will last me a lifetime - guitar and surfing - I felt that most of my hours were spent were only going to give me pleasure at the specific moment I spent them. I had fears of becoming an adult that had little to show for his earlier years. The one educational reason - or should I say excuse - for being in Costa Rica was to learn Spanish. This, however, was not progressing at the rate it should have been since I had enclosed myself in an English speaking bubble within Costa Rica. My friends spoke Spanish as their primary language, but with me the conversation always was in English. I believe I still have learned more Spanish in America than I have in Costa Rica. So I felt, and feel currently, that I needed to stay in New York to develop a lifestyle that allows me to soak up knowledge and build a career.

I hope to return to Costa Rica within the year, but when I do it will likely be for only a relatively short period of time. As for now, it's great to be back home.

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